The soft ticking of the clock woke me up. It was only four in the morning. I at once remembered yesterday. I feel so ashamed of myself. Stretching like a cat under the hot sun, I closed my eyes, and slowly, hot tears started to burn my eyelids. Slowly, tears of fear and regret came streaming down my pale cheeks. Slowly, I cried, trying to find peace, trying to find myself.

I knew all of this was a repitition. Until when must all of these go on? I felt really lost and confused. No other to turn to. How could I pour my heart out to somebody without them turning their back on me? I was so assured that everybody will flee away. "Liar." "Two-faced." "Hypocrite." I knew. I knew so much and yet I still went against it.

One hour passed, I was still lying on my bed. Helpless.

The four walls seemed so suffocating after a few minutes. I know I needed a breather. Just as I got up to go to the balcony, my Nokia vibrated from under the pillow. The perfect hiding spot.

"Allah is always with you. No matter what, or when. He is with you right now. When you went against Him outside, He did not take away everything from you. Instead, you came home to shelter, food, family. So what else of His love are you denying?"

The text from this frequent motivator slapped me handlessly. Those words, like a pail of ice cold water shook me. My countless wrongdoings, my lies.. Allah covered them up for me. He offered me chances by chances for me to repent. And all I could think of are people's thoughts of me. Yet again, my heart crushed to pieces. I knew where I should head to. My feet took me to where I am supposed to be.

"Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar!" The adzaan made it's way through the stereo. Yet, I was already seated on the praying mat, as calm as the ocean. I know that today is a brand new start, and Allah will always be there for me. Even with everyone else against me, there He is, the One, who will always give me hope to carry on.

With Him, I am the strongest girl you will ever meet.